I can relate to this so well. I wake up everyday to realize that I don't have to watch what I say, how I act. That I don't have to be paranoid or take on the traits of someone who is just because I lived with with someone who was. That I don't have to tiptoe or dance around crazy. I don't have to worry if this is the day that they have a flashback which will make them strike out and hurt me. I lived with a recovering drug addict for years. They were years that were extremely hard but so worth it, and I would do it all again. But, for the last 5 years I wake up every morning and realize that I don't have that weight on my shoulders anymore. It is a 2 edge sword as it is sad because my Husband died. But it is also every freeing as I am realizing that I don't have to live like that anymore. So, when I say I'm finding a new me I really mean it. I have to find the me that was buried under all the above stuff. Also find who I am now without him, and who I want to become.
Huggs,
Cleary (Cie)
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