Part 3 May 30, 2025
As I said, I was busy with school, swimming, and being a kid. But in my 8th year things started to change and go wrong, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it. I went out for cheerleading in 8th grade, and I had a good time with that until I started hanging out with one person who I’m not going to name. We started doing everything together, going out for track, hanging out outside of school. But I was slowing figuring out that my other friends didn’t like her at all. They were making me make a choice between them and her. I choose her, maybe in hindsight I shouldn’t have. There was a bunch of stuff she was doing with boys that I didn’t know about at first. I didn’t believe the rumors were true about her. When I realized it at the end of the year. I confronted her and broke off our friendship because I didn’t want to get labeled the same way.
But I found out in 9th grade it was too late everyone thought I was like her. I used to find nasty letters calling me names in my locker. I used to work out a lot to stay fit for swimming and even though I could out bench most of the boys in my class, who were only friends at first. Everyone called me a whore because I hung out with guys all the time. But I didn’t want to hang out with people (girls) who were calling me names. I ended up hanging out with the wrong crowd, yes, they have that crowd in private school. I ended up going to a sleep over that was more than a sleep over, even though I didn’t do anything I was accused of it and the rumors were all over school. I ended up failing classes because I didn’t want to be there and asked my parents to put me in public school so I could be on the swimming team the next year. And my parents agreed if I brought up my grades.
So, in 10th grade I was in a new school where no one knew me but a couple of people. I was on the team with who were my friends. Everything was going well. I was a bit overwhelmed because it was a big difference with everything. I met a boy in one of my classes that was very persistent about being my boyfriend, so I agree, as I thought he was cute. We used to go out to the parking lot everyday for lunch for a couple of months. I was very happy with school; my friends and swimming team practice every day. I thought that I was passed everything from before and was looking forward to the rest of the year.
Then one day we were out at his older brother’s van for lunch and everyone left early. We were talking and he started kissing me, but it was more insistent than ever before, being from catholic school I was a bit stupid about some things even though you know the basic ideas of sex. Mostly the bases 1 through 3, and no one ever went all the way. But that day he wouldn’t stop, and I was raped. Then he told me I couldn’t tell anyone because they wouldn’t believe it since we had been going out for so long. And if I did tell he would kill me. I was physically hurt, not just mentally. I was in so much pain and bleeding so heavily that I had to tell my swim coach I was on my period so I could go home. I didn’t tell anyone and tried to deal with it, but I didn’t want to go back to school. So, I started failing my classes and skipping school. I even ran away just to get attention because I couldn’t say what was really bothering me. I wanted to die. I started acting out and yelling at my Mom. It was a very hard time for both of us and the rest of my family.
Okay I need a break, I will write more later
Remember to hugg your family and tell them you love them.
Huggs,
Cleary (Cie)
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