I left off on my first night in IOL. I spent 4 months there until my insurance ran out and stopped paying for me to be there. I've been debating with myself if I want to write about what happened there because the laws were different then and mental health care didn't really care about your age. You got treated the same as an adult or maybe a bit worse. But, then I'm know there are others who also went through the same things.
So I will write about what I remember the most about those 4 months. Being on the open unit I was placed on it was co-ed, meaning there were boys and girls on the same unit all under 18 and over 12. The first week I had to have classes because I was under 16 so still had to have school. That took up most of my morning and afternoon. I was still not talking to anyone else on the unit and still not really eating. I had drinks and smoked a lot. Oh yeah they encouraged our parents to put money in our banks for cigarettes and to by shampoo etc. We were encourage to smoke to help keep us calmer.
I was doing okay until my Birthday, right before dinner I got a phone call from my parents telling me Happy Birthday and that the nurses will give me my present after dinner. I did good until I hung up and the dinner bell rang. I actually went to try and eat something, got to the door of the dinning room and broke out in tears. I couldn't stop crying. The boy in front of me in line grabbed my hand and pulled me to my favorite couch by the window and just held my hand and sat with me until I could talk. He told me his name and said he had been watching me all week just waiting for this to happen. I giggled at him and asked if he was psychic? He said no that he went through almost the same thing when he first got here. I laugh and said good because I thought I was going crazy, not being able to talk to anyone or being able to eat. He told me it was shock of being ripped away from everything I know and felt safe with. He honestly should have worked there and not been a patient.
He became my lifeline in there. I slowly started eating again. Went to classes, started going outside to watch him play baseball. Went to the gym. I got permission to go to the pool and swim which was good as it gave me something semi normal to do. This place had amazing food, we had a movie theater and weekend dances.. You had to earn point to be able to go to these things and not be a high risk. But they helped to keep things kind of normal. You still had to talk to the floor counselors everyday and doctors every week. Plus take your meds, things that made you realize you were still in a mental hospital. So the first couple of months I was doing well and getting adjusted to being there. I had friends now and things to look forward to.
I'm going to stop here because the next part I need to think about how to put it. But this gives you an idea of what life was like on an open unit.
Huggs your love ones and tell them you love them.
Huggs,
Cleary (Cie)
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