"SEPTEMBER is Suicide Prevention Month. It is okay to not be okay. Check in with family and friends. Ask questions and make mental health part of conversation. Together, we can make a difference."And it does make a difference for some and talking about mental health is awesome.
But at the same time it puts a big burden on the family of someone who is in the 40% or 50% maybe higher of what is called The Silent Ones. The ones you don't realize are going to kill themselves. The ones that really don't show any signs, The ones that no matter what you do, say or otherwise, end up ending their life. It adds to your grief, it makes you feel guilty for years until you work out that no matter what you couldn't have done a damn thing to change it.
I understand that no one wants this to happen to anyone, and I certainly don't but, there also needs to be more mental health therapists who deal with the trauma of the survivors ,the family, and the ones that witness it (which is it's own type of trauma and a lot of therapists can't/ don't know how to help for that.)
After my husband killed himself there was 1 therapist in the whole of 2 counties. Just 1. I saw her twice. then my insurance decided that was enough. Thankfully she helped me deal with a couple of things before I couldn't see her anymore. But that is not good enough.
Because grief counseling kind of helps but you can't tell what is really bothering you or what you saw and still see because they don't understand the horror of it all. You need a special kind of trauma counselor/therapist That you can tell the gross parts to. Hopefully now that I'm getting settled and getting other things taken care of I can find one here because I still need to see one even after 7 years.
So yes, talk to your family and friends and tell them you love them and your door is always open, but on the off chance you can't help someone it's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done and try not to beat yourself up to hard or to long because of it.
Huggs,
Cleary (Cie)
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